First off, I enjoy my job as a librarian. That hasn’t changed in the 10 years that I’ve been a librarian. So, please excuse some of my snarkiness below. It’s the Friday before Spring Break (but we all know that most librarians don’t get a Spring Break) and I needed a little fun! Here’s a list of 10 things they didn’t tell you about being a librarian. These have all happened to me, or at a library I have worked at:
- Asking a patron to stop licking the computer monitor when viewing images of French figure skater Surya Bonaly.
- You should probably memorize all of the books by their color because that’s what patrons will ask for. “Do you have that green book? You know…the big one!”
- How to get the following animals OUT of the library: bats, snakes, robins, frogs, and yes–a roadrunner.
- How to ID a peeping tom in the book stacks. And making him leave when the security officer doesn’t do his/her job.
- That someone ALWAYS wants to photocopy something the minute before closing.
- When a patron is asking for books on “poultry,” he may actually mean “poetry.”
- That senior citizens sometimes just call the library because they’re lonely. This makes me sad.
- You need to de-lice the library headphones.
- The Robert Mapplethorpe books always ends up in the men’s restroom and you will sometimes need plastic gloves to retrieve them.
- Are you allowed to keep the alcohol you find in the library? Kidding! Seriously, I’ve found everything from beer cans to Jack Daniels, and even vermouth! But I suspected the vermouth to be from a library co-worker (what college kid drinks vermouth?).
Have something to add to the list? Please share!